The very idea that scant minutes after "Ruby" fatally shot Oswald that Dallas Police striped him naked and replaced ever stitch of clothing on his body, down to his underwear, is so preposterous, that I can't believe that you actually played it, that you went there.
Don't you know what the right move was for you? It was nothing! To do and say nothing, you fool! Nothing you could possibly say was going to help. Nothing you could possibly say was going to end well for you. Don't you know what this is now? It's a smoking gun. And, as the Wizard said, it doesn't matter if it was done back in 1963 (which I seriously doubt) or if the ink is still wet on it. It is a preposterous claim, and it is a preposterous expression. 1 set underwear? They don't ask for your underwear at a City Jail! It wasn't a penitentiary. Ruby was there for exactly one night. The very next day he was transferred to the County Jail. Why the Hell would they be confiscating and replacing his underwear at the City Jail?
But, you can't take it back. You own it now. This is so stupid, it's Joseph Backes stupid. His mental stench is rubbing off on you- not that you were ever much smarter. He accuses Dallas Police of faking a bus and cab ride, and you accuse them of confiscating Jack Ruby's unmentionables. And immediately no less. Which is more stupid? Let's call it a tie.
I wonder how it went down. Perhaps like this?
Jailer: OK, Jack, we need you to get you out of those clothes.
Jack: What?
Jailer: We need your clothes.
Jack: You mean you want me to wear a prison uniform?
Jailer: Not just that.
Jack: Then what?
Jailer: Everything. We need it all.
Jack: You want me to take off all my clothes? You mean just my shirt and pants, right?
Jailer: No. Everything. Every stitch of fabric on your body.
Jack: You want my fuckin' underwear?
Jailer: That's right; everything; including that.
Jack: What the fuck is wrong with you? I'm not giving you my fuckin' drawers.
Jailer: Oh, you want to go at it again, do you? I'll get the fuckin' Penguins back is what I'll do. We'll fuckin' tear your drawers off you.
(tense silence)
Jack: (grimaces) Jesus H. Christ! I was arrested and booked in 1954, and nobody asked for my fuckin' drawers!
Jailer: Ah, well, we've had a change of policy since then.
Jack: Oh really? What about Oswald? Did you get his drawers?
Jailer: Ah, well, no, actually, we didn't get his.
Jack: Well, what makes me so fuckin' special?
Jailer: Look! I'm just the fuckin' jailer; I'm not the Chief of Police. I was told to get your fuckin' drawers, and one way or another, I'm going to get 'em.
Jack: (shakes his head in disgust) Well, what the fuck are you going to give me to wear instead?
(Jailer hands him some regulation underwear.)
Jack: What, are you going to stand here and watch? I shoot Oswald, and the first thing you want from me are my fuckin' drawers? What is this fuckin' Department coming to?
Jailer: Alright, I'll give you two minutes. I'm coming back for your dirty underwear. It better be here, and it better not be on you.
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