Oswald in the doorway: the blog of the Oswald Innocence Campaign, by Ralph Cinque

Since some people are making light of the claim that the DPD replaced Ruby's underwear (even though they didn't offer a stitch of clothing to Oswald) I have written a script about it. And be aware that I am a filmwriter. Three of my films are streaming for free on tubitv.com which you can watch for free. They are: My Stretch of Texas Ground; the sequel to it, His Stretch of Texas Ground; and an unrelated story The Pro Bono Watchman.

 I am proud of each of them, and I hope you'll watch them. But now, let's move on to my script about Jack Ruby.

Jailer: One more thing, Jack: I'm going to need your underwear.

Ruby:  Say again.

Jailer: Your underwear; off with it. That's t-shirt, underpants, and socks. 

Ruby: What the mudderruck are you are saying? Are you out of your mind? 

Jailer: Jack, don't make this harder than it has to be. We've got rules here, and I don't make them. But, I do enforce them. 

Ruby: Well, enforce this. (flips him the bird). You ain't getting my frickin' underwear.

Jailer: I'm sorry to hear you say that. This is going to be most unpleasant for both of us.

Ruby: (screams) Why do you want my underwear????

Jailer: It's a matter of regulation! We have a rule: all prisoners must be decked in regulation, Department-certified underwear. It's Penal Code B072-G. 

Ruby: Do you mean to tell me that you keep underwear here, in all sizes, for men? 

Jailer: For women too. Sizes run from small to extra-large. I'm taking you for a medium.

Ruby: And what do you do with this underwear?

Jailer: It goes into bins. 

Ruby: Bins?

Jailer: (irritated) That's right, bins. We got bins here. All kinds of bins. We number them and letter them. It's a job to keep track of everything, but we manage. 

Ruby: So, you throw people's sweaty underwear into bins. And then what? When do you return it?

Jailer: After you're arraigned, and before you either go home or to the County Jail, you can change back into your own underwear. We'll just go to the bin and get it. 

Ruby: Question: Is my sweaty underwear mixed with other people's sweaty underwear? Because: I could have a problem with that. It doesn't rub right with me. 

Jailer: I'll tell you what: I'll make sure your sweaty underwear goes in its own bin so that your sweat doesn't mix with anybody else's sweat. There, you happy?

Ruby: I'm delerious. 

Jailer: I'll take that as a yes. Now, strip down to your birthday suit and make it snappy. Let's get this over with. And believe me: I'm not looking forward to it any more than you are. (yells at his assistant) Hey Ned! You got the long tongs for Ruby's underwear? And where are my gloves? I'm not taking any chances.